Last week I posed the question: how do you respond to having a tech free day?
Let’s look more at the specifics of that, because what I am really asking is:
Could you live without your phone for a day?
In my work as a life coach, what I do most is ask people questions. I like to make people think, and when we learn to ask ourselves questions and pay attention to what surfaces, we are learning to become more self aware.
So it may be that you have several responses to the idea of a tech free day, especially if that includes the challenge to live without your phone.
“I would love that but it is unrealistic, I’m too busy.”
We all live busy lives. Managing work, family schedules and social lives is done for a large part on our phones. One interesting side effect of the lockdowns caused by the Covid 19 pandemic that I hear often was the sense of space and relief people had at suddenly having their schedules cleared.
Less organising.
Now I know that for many, lockdown was demanding and exhausting.
But when much of life suddenly stopped…what did you miss? What did you realise about yourself and what is most important to you? Where did you discover that you are not indispensible and life does actually continue without you?
I know that seems like a harsh question.
But if your response to choosing to live without your phone for a day is it is impossible because you are too busy, I encourage you to dig a little deeper under the surface of that:
What are you busy with? Why? For whom? What would happen if you didn’t do that for a day?
What boundaries could you put in place, or what could you delegate? What does rest mean for me?
And see where you get to.
“I come out in hives even thinking about not having my phone next to me for a whole day.”
Fear of not having your mobile phone now has a name. Yes, really: Nomophobia. Our phones have become our digital security blankets, more on that Nomophobia here.
Again, I simply ask more questions. What need is your phone meeting? How much of your phone use is habit and what purpose does it serve? Who do you see yourself to be if you are not connected all the time? A deeper issue here perhaps about identity and need fulfillment.
Food for thought and for pondering. Tech can be addictive. But we can make different choices and the first is to recognise that – despite external appearances sometimes – we control our tech, it does not control us. We have the power in our finger tips to switch it off.
“I like the idea of choosing to live without my phone but not sure I can manage a whole day.”
Start small. Start simple.
If a whole day is too much, aim for half a day.
Or aim to keep the first and last hours of the day tech free.
Or simply pick one aspect of your phone you are going to cease for a day – social media for example. Ask yourself before you check WHY you are doing so – is it simply a mindless habit? If so, see how you get on resisting for a day.
“I LOVE this idea and can’t wait to make this a regular part of my week.”
Switching off and giving your brain a rest for one day out of seven makes sense to you. This is what living without your phone will facilitate. The idea of rest is important for our bodies, minds and souls and is not a new concept. A Sabbath rest may have come from the Bible as a principle, but many people of all faiths and none see the value in a day of rest each week. Of course, the idea of a Sabbath rest encompases much more than simply resting from our tech. But it is an important factor to consider.
Simple steps to get started:
Talk to the family about it – this is something REALLY IMPORTANT that we model to our kids. Nomophobia is worst amongst young people and is now recognised as a concern for mental health. So think about how your kids, if you have them, see you use your phone. What do you want to pass on to them about healthy use of phones?
Discuss together the effect of constantly being on our phones, and what switching off for a day would look like.
Plan some things to do together instead that allow you to connect in old fashioned ways: actual face to face talking in real life, using pen and paper, looking up an actual physical dictionary for a word (shock horror), playing a board game….you get the drift.
Then ask yourself afterwards:
How did I find that? What did I miss? What did I NOT miss?
Has the world ended without my checking Instagram every half hour?
What am I understanding about how I use my time and what is most important (see this post)?
Then aim to have a tech free day each week, giving yourself that gift of head and emotional space. Don’t overcomplicate things – I read one article that suggested that in order to go tech free, you needed to invest in a whole load of kit beforehand. A landline, a record player, a watch – non internet versions of what we use our phones for. I see the logic in this, especially the need for someone to get hold of you in an emergency.
But for me, the real delight in a tech free day is the simplicity and silence of it.
No noise, of any kind.
It does us no harm to be reminded that we control our tech, it does not control us.
And we are so much more than our tech. We can choose to live without our phone for a day. Try it and see.